by 99 Seats
Last night, I read in The Soundtrack Series, a monthly reading series of people talking about songs that mean something to them. I had a great old time. This is the piece I read. Here's the song that inspired it.
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First, let me apologize. “Drops of Jupiter” is a terrible, terrible song by a terrible band and I’m sorry that I’ve inflicted it on you, even for a few seconds. God, I hate this song. When I hear it, I go back to the late ‘90s, a time when music like this made the world safe for douchebags. I blame Train and Matchbox 20 and Nickelback for the Bush years. It was all their fault. Train made music for people who thought that Dave Matthews was too deep. And “Drops of Jupiter” is their crowning achievement. God, it reeks of the late ‘90s with its sophomore in college journal lyrics and references to Tae-Bo and “the best soy latte that you’ve ever had.” (That’s an actual lyric in the song. An actual lyric.) Lord God, I hate this song.
But. The Soundtrack Series isn’t about your favorite song. It’s about a song that reminds you of something, of a time in your life, a particular moment that something happened. Besides reminding me of beefy guys in dirty white hats, this song does remind me of something else, someone else. I hate to say it, but I don’t remember his name, if I ever really knew it. I can’t say we were friends or even that I ever spoke more than five sentences to him ever. But when I hear this song I can see him: the guy in the wheelchair who sang it every week at the Dutch Cabin’s karaoke night. Usually in a black t-shirt and black pants. Soul patch. Spiky, moussed-up hair. He tore into this song, week after week, in a clear, strong voice. That’s what I think of when I hear this song: karaoke at the Dutch Cabin and how, oddly, it led to everything that came after.
Let me back up. Like Steve Perry sang, I was raised on radio. Pop music has been a part of my life since before I could walk. I grew up on a steady diet of disco, reggae, Motown, rock, blues, you name it. Music, particularly pop music, was a constant. And I was the kind of kid who learned all the words, sang along with every song. I even choreographed complicated dance routines for the delight of literally no one but myself. Seriously. Leave me alone with the Footloose soundtrack for an afternoon in 1984 and you would get an entire opera acted out in my parents’ bedroom. I was that kind of kid. If it takes 10,000 hours to get good at something, by the time I was thirteen, I was aces at listening to the radio. Easily. I watched MTV, I listened to Z-100, I recorded songs off the radio on my boom box and I sang along. All the time.
There was one little problem. I couldn’t really sing. Not so much. I learned that the hard way: in chorus in the 7th grade. 7th grade is the place where you learn your limitations. Usually in public. And learn them, I did. I learned that while I sang with gusto and passion and, most of all, volume, I did not so much sing with proper pitch or tone or, most embarrassingly for the only black kid in school, rhythm. I didn’t screech or anything, it wasn’t that. It was just that opened my mouth and noise came out. Not singing so much. And especially not choral singing. See, I had a loud voice that was really neither bass nor tenor (“baritone” was a word I’d never heard) and all my body wanted to do was sing the melody. As a member of a middle-school chorus, the goal is to blend, blend your voice, blend your tone, and sing the lovely harmonies. I was wired for pop music, so I was wired for the melody. Harmony, that’s what the Pips sang, what those other Supremes sang. I wanted to sing the melody. That didn’t really work for chorus.
Still, I persisted, staying in chorus all through high school, singing in the high school musical. I think I gave Larry Silverman, our music teacher, fits. I know I gave the other students’ fits. I remember one time having two seniors singing my part literally into my ears during one rehearsal. My voice would not comply. My senior year, we did Pippin as the musical and I played Charlemagne, Pippin’s father. That’s a part that is mostly talk-singing, like Rex Harrison’s part in My Fair Lady. (We got any musical theatre fans in the house? Good.) Basically, I couldn’t screw it up. The one harmony I had to sing, I sang after my character had died, curled up in a ball, behind some baffling on the set. So that worked out pretty well.
When I went to college, I focused on writing and put my performing days behind me. I mean, in 1991, it wasn’t like there were a lot of chances to go out in public and sing popular hits in front of people. Sure, this thing called karaoke existed, but it wasn’t widespread. I’m sure it’s a shock to the Youth of America in attendance to learn that there was a time when karaoke wasn’t everywhere. But there was. That time was 1991 to about 1996. When I was in college. But when I moved back to New York, the karaoke barrier had been broken and it was a whole new world.
Karaoke for me, in those days, was this: I would be hanging out with my friends, doing…something. Watching a ball game. Watching a movie. Having dinner. Celebrating someone’s birthday. At a house party. There would be drinks. There would be more drinks. It would be late. And get later. And then someone would throw it out there, just casual-like. “Hey, maybe we should do some karaoke?” And the response would be insane. That was the BEST IDEA EVER AND WE HAD TO DO IT. So we would. We would pile into a cab, a sweaty bunch of 20-somethings and go across town to the East Side (none of us would ever actually hang out on the East Side, I mean, come on..) to Duet, a karaoke joint. This was the karaoke box. It was private, it was safe, it was also BYOB. We’d cart in cases of beer and bottles of whiskey and dial up the songs of our youth. “Hang On Sloopy” was a surprisingly big crowd-pleaser. Since we were all Jersey-raised, Bon Jovi would make an appearance (or three) and we’d finish with a rousing rendition of “Born To Run.” And by rousing, I mean, five drunk guys shouting at the top of their lungs at 2 in the morning. In the box, karaoke always devolved into punk rock. It was awesome.
Around this time, in the other part of my life, I was working in a theatre, a small, struggling theatre in Hell’s Kitchen. We were talented and passionate and the theatre had a long storied history. But we were practically in the Hudson River at the end of, at the time, probably the sketchiest block in Manhattan. We did what we did there, but no one really noticed. We were kind of like the Amish of the New York theatre scene: a people apart, with our ways and traditions, hostile to outsiders and the uninitiated. I wouldn’t go so far as to say “cult,” since there was no Kool-Aid (or sometimes heat), but it was, in some ways, a theatrical karaoke box. We trundled in our own stuff and had a great time, but it wasn’t really public. I worked there, as an intern, an artist and a staff member, for nearly a decade. It was a place I was valued, a place where people knew me. And then I left, and joined the rest of the world.
The rest of the world was a company called New York Stage and Film which produced plays and readings on the Vassar College campus every summer. If my old theatre was the Amish, Stage and Film was a megachurch, Saddleback or something. They were totally plugged in, connected to, well, everything and everyone. My first summer there, I suddenly found myself rubbing elbows with people I’d seen on TV, on Broadway, in movies. Jill Clayburgh gave me a ride. I had Tony-winners calling my cell phone. I helped Broadway directors through emotional breakdowns. I was essentially the kid from the sticks who gets called up to the majors. And every day, well, it was kind of like being back in 7th grade and learning my limitations in public. Did I belong here? Was I going to get sent home? Sooner or later, they were going to figure out that I was a fraud, right? I mean, obviously.
If you know Vassar or Poughkeepsie, you know that there aren’t a lot of places to hang out around there. In fact, there are basically two. The Beech Tree Inn was the fancy joint with the good food and the pricey drinks. That was where the stars of stage and screen would hold court. Going to the Beech Tree was like going to the office; I was still on the clock. But then, there was the Dutch Cabin. The Dutch Cabin was a Mexican restaurant. Don’t ask me why. But it was. And it was a dive bar. I guess, during the school year, it’s a very college-y bar, but in the summer, it was clearly a townie bar. It was filthy, always. They had absurd beer specials, like this: one night a week, they had $5 pitchers of Sam Adams. But the pitchers were these half-pitcher things, so people just walked around drinking right from the pitcher. Awesome idea.
But they also had karaoke. After a few weeks of putting in my time at the Beech Tree, I needed something different. Something else. I didn’t do karaoke nights, I was a karaoke box guy, I was used to being somewhere safe, with my friends, where it didn’t matter that I couldn’t really sing. That was good. But…eventually, you get drunk enough and there you are. At karaoke night. At the Dutch Cabin. And it is AWESOME. There’s one guy who does thrash metal. Every week. Without lyrics. The karaoke guy just has the track and the guy does it. There were the usual drunk girls, singing “Don’t Stop Believing” (this was before it was the Most Ubiquitous Song Ever and it was still ironic and fun). And there was the guy, the guy singing “Drops of Jupiter” so seriously. So well. It actually didn’t sound like such a shitty song when he sang it. It kind of meant something.
I went a few times and discovered something. I discovered that my 10,000 hours of listening to pop music had paid off: I knew every song. I knew every word to every song. Every weird, obscure ‘80s pop hit, I knew it. Karaoke was born in the ‘80s and there is no other decade of music that suits it. It’s an unholy marriage of one-hit wonders and music made entirely by computer. It ran in my veins like little white corpuscles of synth. I was built for this. Because I could sing harmonies. I knew all the backing tracks, all the little grunts and shout-outs from the backing band. All the patter in the Springsteen songs. A bunch of us would go and sit where we could see the lyrics on the screen and sing along. When the person was too drunk to actually remember the song, we filled in. It turned karaoke into a communal thing. It all became our karaoke box.
Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I did two summers at Stage and Film and went to Tuesday night karaoke both summers. I met a girl the second summer and karaoke definitely played a part. In life, I’m shy, awkward, especially around women I like. But on karaoke night? Something happens. The guy, the Drops of Jupiter guy, I don’t know what he did with the rest of his week, with the rest of his life. But I know he was there every week for something. And so was I. So I wooed at karaoke night, I won at karaoke night. But it was just a summer thing. When the summer ended and we both went home, the romance ended. I say it was because we never went to karaoke again.
When I came back to my neighborhood, I discovered that a local bar had started a karaoke night. So, of course, I went. And there, well, a lot of things started. But that’s a story for another time. For now, I’ll leave it with this: sometimes people ask me if I sing. When they do, I say, I karaoke. It’s not the same thing. It’s as cheesy as “Drops of Jupiter” to say it, but karaoke is where I really found my voice. Even when I lost it.
suggestion to run for office — from anyone.
When I read Tom's essay, I knew it would be controversial, and allow a lot of people to thump their breasts in outrage. But it amazes me how easy it is for people to thump, and how hard it seems for them to do anything that might change the status quo for the better. Tom and I have been putting statistics out there year after year showing the problem, and everybody nods and then goes back to figuring out how to use Twitter better. Any suggestions that might lead to change is greeted with "concern" or dismissal, because change might "hurt" some people or institutions that people aspire to, or worse might impact our own career. But those statistics that Tom puts out there aren't made up. So we have two options: accept them as permanent reality, or do something that leads to change. And my experience is, for all the chest thumping, people lack the courage and desire to change anything.
There is a documentary called "The Essential Blue Eyed," which revisits the teacher who did the experiment with her elementary school students where blue eyes were embued with all the negative stereotypes usually applied to African-Americans. At one point in the documentary, she is addressing a gathering of teachers, and she says, "Stand up if you would like to change your white skin color for black." She waits -- nobody rises. She then says, "That means that you know what's happening, you know it's wrong. So why aren't you doing something?"
So yeah, the quotation asks you to do something. Something more than sighing and expressing your oh-so-enlightened sensibilities. So let's see it. Let's see a suggestion for change that actually is radical enough to address this imbalance. Let's see YOU suggest something, instead of simply picking the holes in the ideas of others.
There is an essay about race and privilege that defines "prejudice" as something that happens at the level of the individual, and "racism" as something that happens at the level of the system. It is possible to benefit from racism even if you aren't prejudiced. That's where we're at now: we have a theatrical system that is racist, elitist, and urbanist. The author says there are three categories: "active racism," "passive racism," and "active anti-racism." Active racism is exemplified by the KKK and others who actively do racist acts. Active anti-racism are people who seek to intervene and actively counter-act racism. And Passive racism are people who don't do anything racist, but they just go along. The analogy is to the moving sidewalks in airports: racists walk fast forward, anti-racists walk fast backwards, and passive racists stand still but are moved along by the escalator. The latter is what most theatre people are -- passive racists/elitists/urbanists. And until they get off the schneid, then Tom's analysis is spot-on.