Ay, There's The Rub Part II

To continue my open-source life:

So, I did some more number crunching on dinner break from CORALINE last night.  Let's assume for one moment that the tentative second off-broadway ADing gig doesn't happen, leaving the fall totally blank.  And then let's assume that I get regular temp work for the fall. I used to temp a lot, but the work has fallen off with the economic crisis, but as that seems to be mellowing in some quarters perhaps I could get regular temp work again.  

Let's say I'm temping at $12/hr (which is low, but I want to be realistic).  Between temping, my already scheduled writing commitments and my theatre gigs, my entire income for FY 09-10 (which is to say March 09-March 2010)  will be... $12,620. 

Which is quite a bit more than $2500, but hardly a sustainable strategy.

So... something's gotta change, right?

Two big things that came up in the comments that I've been thinking about for... oh... two years or so and not really discussing on this blog are (A) Moving and (B) Giving up the "freelance director" model for something else. They're actually interrelated, but I want to address them separately, starting with moving.  It might surprise many of the readers here that I am not in fact attached to living in NYC indefinitely.  I have been to other cities that i've quite enjoyed and have considered living in.  Obviously, I am not the only one weighing in on this decision here, but moving has a lot of benefits.

Other cities are cheaper to live in for the most part, although obviously not cheap enough to solve the problem of needing to make more money than I'm making right now.  I could also rent out the apartment that I own in NYC at a small profit and make a small amount of income that way, further relaxing the amount of money I would need to bring in (this isn't magical thinking, I've priced out rents in my neighborhood for similar apartments and my apartment is in good condition).  Like I said I'm not wedded to New York-- I love my friends, I love my neighborhood (where I've lived for seven years), I love my life up here, and radically changing that is both scary and painful, but if it's necessary and if there's something better to be had elsewhere, I'm willing to do it.  

But... doing so would mean giving up the NYC Freelance Director Career Path (told you they were interrelated) for something else. Would this be a bad thing?

I've been mulling that around for some time now and I think ultimately the answer is no, I think I'd be okay with that, for two reasons.  The first is, I look at the careers of directors I admire, many of whom I'm friends with.  And then I look at where I'm headed right now and I go... okay Butler, what chance do you think you have of being somewhere around where they are in 5-8 years?  And being realistic the answer is... very little.  This is not because I think I lack the skills or talent to be a director. I think I'm a good director.  It's just that there are many peers of mine (or people just slightly older than I am) who are much further along on that path, and have a much better shot. There are certain decisions I made in the past that have left me less connected on an institutional level than I should be for having lived here for eight years and as i try to do those things now I find myself in a weird netherzone, where I am too qualified (And told I am too qualified) for some career development stuff, and not nearly qualified enough for the next level.

There are things I could do to accelerate myself up that ladder a bit. The big one (which is no sure thing, obviously) would be to go to a top grad school. But again, not a sure thing.  But certainly something worth considering.

Anyway... The second thing is, I look at the lifestyles of NYC Freelance Directors and I'm not quite sure it's for me. I'm not so sure I want to spend months on the road every year.  I don't begrudge people who enjoy it or anything, I just don't find it all that appealing.

So one fairly obvious path would look like this:

-- Move to another city with a good but not maxed-out theatre scene 

-- Dayjob it a bit (Or more than a bit if it were with a theatre company)

-- Start a company

-- Freelance and work within that theatre community

--Write

-- Hopefully grow the above to the point where I don't have to dayjob it anymore or I have become a key member of the artistic team of an existing theatre.

That's a good path, one that appeals to me on a lot of different levels. And I have a lot of skills beyond directing that I could offer a theatre community. I'm a sound designer, a writer (if not a playwright) and I have quite a bit of guest-teaching and education experience.  

This is the thing, though, the reason why I haven't tried it yet. I don't want to start a theatre company until I've figured out what I have to give.  The Mission Paradox blog had a fantastic post awhile ago that I can't find for some reason where he discussed that the fundamental problem of many theatre companies is that their hidden mission is simply to propagate their members' work and help their careers and thus they begin to fall apart when they move towards actually fulfilling whatever it is their stated mission is because it turns out none of their founders were actually interested in that in the first place.   I don't want to do that.  I don't want to start a company devoted to Me. I mean, I guess I could like the do in the dance world and just start The Isaac Butler Company or whatever, but I'm not so sure that's a good idea.  

So this is all to say this is a potential path being closely considered and not thrown out yet. And anyone who has been down or is thinking about this path, please chime in in the comments. This ain't only supposed to be about my life.

In Our Next Installment: Grad School. I want to have a frank conversation about Grad School, as it always peaks out in these conversations.

Comments

[malachy walsh]

"the fundamental problem of many theatre companies is that their hidden mission is simply to propagate their members' work and help their career"

The only thing wrong with a "hidden mission" like this is the "hidden" part - which you duly note.

But I'd like to point out that there is nothing wrong with starting a company to propagate the work and career of yourself and your fellow members.

Here's the first sentence of something that looks remarkably like a mission statement from the Steppenwolf.

"STEPPENWOLF THEATRE COMPANY IS A Chicago-based international performing arts institution committed to ensemble collaboration and artistic risk through its work with its permanent ensemble, guest artists, partner institutions and the community."

I'm fairly sure that words and phrases like "international" and "guest artists" and "partner institutions" were not in the original mission, but I'm equally sure the rest is fairly close to whatever the three members drew it up.

And one way to translate that sentence into plain, undiplomatic English: We're a company that produces work with and for our company members.

There's no "serving our community" BS going on here - though the Steppenwolf definitely serves the community. There's no direct political statement - though Steppenwolf shows aren't always apolitical.

And thank god, since it's made for some terrific theatre.

Ultimately, even most successful theatre companies are seeded with a good heaping vanity and self-interest.

The SF Mime Troupe being one of the few true exceptions I can think of.

[Dorothy]

Do what calls to you and do what scares you the most. That would be my advice.
Of course many could say I have "failed" in the theatre and that is why I am pursuing my degree in drama therapy.
But you know what... I am more in love with theatre now than I was before. I was a damn good director too and I just looked at what else I like to do and what else interested me and I followed that path.
Obviously, I am still in the middle of the path so i don't know where it will all lead, but I do know that I am pursuing my passion and diving into what scares me. Life is good when you do that.
I know it's cliché to say " follow your heart" , but it really does work out for most people who do.

Yay for exploration !

[Adam]

First, thanks for the mention and the blog post you speak off is here:

http://missionparadox.typepad.com/the_mission_paradox_blog/2009/04/your-future.html

Second, the world that gave us Da Wolf in the 1970's is substantially different then the one anybody is trying to build a theatre in today.

I just don't think it's possible to do a theatre that is about "serving ourselves" in a place like NY, or Chicago and hope it will grow into something stable and special.

You must have a broader, unique purpose to command the sort of dollars you need to be viable and I believe that purpose has to be about the public first and foremost.

As for what Issac should do I would explore the freelance writing world, along with some teaching if the freelance directing world doesn't appeal to you.

[malachy walsh]

Adam,

Everything is substantially different, always.

And the job of the artist is to make new realities.

Certainly, while everything you've said in your reply is true today, it could've also been said back in the '70s. And probably was.

Happily, not everyone listens to those voices.

And then they make a theatre. Of their own. And create an audience that they serve on their terms rather than find an audience to serve.

Of course, this is all a discussion for the subject of another post, but I think I'll stand by my point.

[August]

"Now I see at last, Kostya, that in our kind of work, whether we're writers or actors, the important thing is not fame, or glory, not what I used to dream about, but learning how to endure."

[Scott Walters]

Adam is right, and in the 1970s Steppenwolf's commitment to ensemble WAS something that made them unique. The original impulse of the regional theatre movement was committed to ensemble as an alternative to the one-and-done approach of Broadway. That said, given how much the regional theatres have become an import business, such a commitment might actually make one unique. Regardless, Steppenwolf's vision was about a way of working, not about they themselves as artists. They thought they could make better theatre through an ensemble.

So how do you make better theatre today?

[Ben TS]

Isaac,

Having a theatre company isn't just a choice between mission adherance and career promotion. You can also start a company to simply produce the kind of work that you want to see on stage. So rather than thinking in terms of "what I can offer," I'd suggest you try to decide on the kind of work you feel the theatre is lacking. On this blog, you communicate some very cogent ideas about drama and its place in the world, and I can't help but feel like those ideas would be put to their best use if you had your own company (or were at least part of one). Your instincts about programming in particular are very spot on. It would be cool to see those put into direct action.

All of us--actors, writers, directors--have a little bit of a "freelance" dream. I know I do. We're all a tad enamored with the idea having a program bio with a list of 25 different LORT theatres in it. Of hanging out with our theatre friends in a bar or Drama Book Shop, talking about our upcoming job at Berkeley Rep or the Guthrie or wherever. But not all of us are cut out for that, and I actually think it's a complement if we are not. It means we have the courage to forge our own path, to create something new, to assert our own viewpoint.

So I'm not saying you need to give up your institutional ambitions just yet. Just know that if you do, you're in very good company.

[Ken]

You're in a more fortunate position than a playwright in similar circumstances (i.e., me) in that your employment opportunity is (usually) created for you by someone else. The work is somewhere, you just have to do what is necessary make yourself available to it (no easy task, as you have described in detail in your post). The writer, however, has to be the one to create the opportunity, and when one play gets tossed around without ever finding a home, it is up to no one but the writer to manufacture the next opportunity for himself/herself.
Of course, if what you really want to be is part of a collective that creates its own work, then your situation is closer to that of the playwright.
Either way, it's a damn hard life. Why I'm still banging my head against that wall after all this time, I haven't a clue. I must love it.

[Sasha Taublieb]

I had to go through all these questions a few years ago. I had to think, what can I do that will involve Theatre, and allow me to support myself? I tried to do it via production, marketing, and agenting work, but I was miserable. That's how I ended up at NYU doing the English and Theatre Education program. I'm still temporarily screwed financially (who isn't) with the hiring freeze, but I at least know that I can always make money in the meantime by subbing at a few small schools, which is far more rewarding both personally and financially than temping.
I think you need to commit to a steady career in something somewhat theatre or writing related. Focus on that for a couple of years, get used to it, and then incorporate the freelance directing work. I think this Fall you should just apply to a crapload of schools- for directing, and for whatever else might float your boat. See where you get in. See what your immediate reaction is when you look at the acceptance and rejection. Then make a decision.

[Daryl]

Thank you for having this discussion

[Adam]

The Prof (as usual) expresses it better then I did.

Steppenwolf was about better theatre via an ensemble. They didn't invent the concept (just like WalMart didn't invent the idea of selling lots of stuff cheaply) but they went a long way toward perfecting it.

The question isn't "what sort of work do you want to do" because no matter what it is, somebody else is doing something similar.

The question is, what is your theory of change? How is what you are doing going to move the art form forward.

I'm a marketer, my theory of change is that arts are advanced when they have a closer, more interdependent connection with their audience. Marketing is a tool to accomplish that.

If you want to start a theatre, what is your theory of change. If you have one, or want to develop one . . . then you should try to make it happen.

[Sasha]

Or, we could all forget NYC and finding a job or a school, gather a crapload of struggling Theatre people, move to Buffalo where it's dirt cheap and reopen Studio Arena Theatre.
People want to subscribe there. The problem is the person who took over a few years ago ran it even further into debt, and picked crappy shows.
Can you tell I've day dreamed about doing this ever since it closed?

[la foi]

You are going to have the exact same existential/professional dilemmas somewhere outside of NYC. Trust me. I am having them in Portland, OR. Or if not the same ones, equally difficult ones. I am part of a small company that was started here 8 years ago. We've managed to find some success, but we are at a crossroads and I don't know what will happen. Those of us now in our 30s are having the same crises you are -- are we ok with having a shitty day job for the rest of our lives, and no health insurance, and living in constant scrambling too-busy poverty? And by the way, how do we have children?

Sometimes the option of moving to NYC is floated in discussions but I think we all know that it wouldn't really solve our problems. Just as I want to make sure you know that moving to Portland (or Buffalo, dear god -- I also have fantasies about moving to the heartland and sparking a revolution but that takes more fire & brimstone than I personally possess) will not solve any of yours. In my opinion.

[Tony]

It is possible to have children and run a theatre. We have two. It's not easy, but if you have children it doesn't automatically mean you can't make theatre.

It's not easy, but raising kids isn't easy period.

[ellen]

hang on, you OWN an apartment?!

[isaac]

Ellen,

Yeah, I do. I think I've discussed that here before. Like I said in the first post, I'm coming at this from a place of privilege and I totally recognize that (which is why I would say none of this is meant to be a complain in any way). I'm just offering up my own situation as something for us to learn from.