Ay, There's The Rub

Sometimes I think it's helpful in our conversations about the State of the Arts to deal with some concrete realities. And, as I am myself going through a little bit of a.. I don't want to call it a crisis but I do feel I am at a crossroads of some kind, I thought why not talk about it publicly.

I want to say in advance that nothing I write about in this post is meant to be in any way complaining.  I am very, very lucky in many many ways and I recognize that. I simply want to talk as honestly as I can (while recognizing this is the internet) about my Life in Art.  Okay, with all of that preamble, here goes:

The year stretching roughly from March 2009-March 2010 will be amongst the busiest and most successful times for me as a theatre director thus far. It will including the following:

-- Being the SDCF observer on one off-broadway show

-- Quite possibly assistant directing another off-broadway show

-- Taking a show to the DC Fringe festival

-- Staging a showcase of a song cycle in anticipation of a summer 2010 tour

-- Directing a play regionally

-- Directing multiple readings and short plays at various venues

-- Guest teaching once or twice

-- Scouting plays for a regional theatre

This will certainly be much much busier than March 2008-March 2009, which included directing one show and several short ones (I did lots of other stuff like work on the Obama Arts Policy Committee, but I'm just focusing on directing for the purposes of this post).

So let's talk turkey. Or should I say, money: 

- My total compensation for all of the above will most likely top out at $2500.  

- I'm at a point in my career where I'm getting work somewhat regularly but it's not paying

- But in order to be available to get that work,  I can't have steady day-time employment (the stuff that pays requires daytime work hours and/or going out of town) and being available to take meetings with people all the time has been enormously beneficial

So how am I able to live?  Well, I make some money off of writing, which is quite time consuming. In order to make more money off of it, I would need to devote more time to it. In order to make a living off of it, I would need to work at it full time and not direct any more. And as I said before, I'm quite lucky. I have a small amount of inheritance that I partially live off of and Anne has a good job. 

Now here's where things get tricky: There may come some time when Anne doesn't want to have to work all the time, or might want to change careers, or we might have a kid  or she goes through any of the normal shit that people go through in life and wants to take a break.  When any of this happens, there'll need to be some period of time (which could be quite short or quite long you never know) where I am going to be the one bringin' home the bacon. It would be unfair of me to try and insist she stay being the remunerative one of the two of us forever.

So. At some point, I need to be making a living. 

Let's say arbitrarily that that point is five years from now.  Nonprofits have five year plans, and I'm not making any money, so why shouldn't I have one too?  In order to make a living from directing, taking a day job is probably not the best idea in the world, as it would tie me to only working in one geographic area and make it so that I could only work nights and weekends.  This leaves me with two major options:

(1) Continue on the path I'm on

(2) Get into a top graduate school

Neither one of these things guarantees that five years from now, I'll be making a living doing this.  And there's no guarantee that I could accomplish number 2. Also, number 2 costs around $100K. Even if I was able to somehow not incur interest on loans to pay for that, it'd still be $100K of future money out the door.  So let's say I do one of these and it doesn't work out. Now I'm 35, and I haven't had steady daytime employment in almost a decade and I decide to start looking for a day job. How desirable a candidate am I really?

If I want to hedge my bets, I should probably start looking for a day-job now(ish).  But doing so may very well mean that I will never make my living from directing. Now obviously, most people who call themselves directors don't make a living from directing, again I'm not complaining. But it would mean giving up on a particular dream-- the dream of being a full-time artist. (Not to mention the other thing: Taking a day job that I find meaningful and fulfilling would also probably mean taking one that leaves little time for trying to be an artist period).

Is it time for me to reconcile myself to that? Am I looking at taking a multi-year break for pursuing a full-time directing career only to try again when I'm in my late 30s?  Should I be pursuing writing more heavily? What should I do?

This is where I am.  I wonder where you are, dear reader.

Comments

[Daryl]

in the same boat except I'm over 35

[Tony]

Probably not very helpful, but: the folks I've known who made a living solely directing actually had less time to direct than those I know who have a day job and/or teach to supplement their income.

Pounding the pavement looking for the next gig took up all of that time they thought being a full-time artist would afford them to be, ya know, an artist.

Is living in NYC more important than making a living directing? Is making a living off of directing really that much different than making a living and directing?

Living in NYC, directing and making a living are the three things you seem to want. If you could only have two which would they be?

[99]

Thanks for sharing all of that. When you look at it plainly like that, it's pretty freaking scary. And it makes one other reality very clear and obvious: that's why probably an inordinate amount of directors staff our non-profit theatres. They provide day-jobs with flexibility (in most cases) and help maintain a connection to the art (again, hopefully). The only problem is they don't really pay, either, or provide health insurance. So there's that.

I'v been at a similar crossroads for a while now (as I chug around the bend from 35 to 36). Playwrights have a bit more flexibility, in terms of day job, since it's easier to be geographically tied to one place. But there are still opportunities you miss out on, or sacrifice for. I've been working at my current day job for just about a year and I'm about to get my first set of real, official vacation days and I'm already thinking, Well, I should bank some and not plan a trip, just in case I need to use them for rehearsals or a residency or something. This is how you have to learn to think.

But Tony brings up the million dollar question: where you live factors into it. If you move to somewhere with a lower cost of living, maybe you (or Anne) don't need to work so much. But also you might lose out on some opportunities.

I think this is the fundamental question of being a theatre artist in this day and age. And I don't think we have a good answer yet.

[Joshua James]

Having a child changed everything for me ... I'd grown pretty frustrated with theatre up until that point, true, but once my son joined us it became very clear that theatre was a luxury that not only could we really not afford, in terms of time, money and headache,it was a luxury that didn't really offer any substantial reward in return ... which is why I focused on other areas of writing where I could make more money.

I miss it, though, I really do, doing theatre is fun. But I don't miss the bullshit that comes with it and I like it when I get paid for my work.

[Sasha Taublieb]

Isaac, continue on the path you're on.
Even if you do manage to make a living directing, it will mean travelling all the time- not the best gig for a father.
Teaching and writing are probably your best bets for making money. Also, neither will require you to be a 9 to 5er, so you can keep directing on the side.
Also, are you sure grad school will cost you 100K plus? Look around for fellowships and scholarships. Are you sure you want to go to school for directing? What about arts journalism? Or Theatre Criticism at Brooklyn College? That would probably only require one to two years of school, and my guess is that most of the classes would meet at night. It wil also get you hooked up (e.g. internship or whatever through school that will eventually get you a steady job)
If you apply for a PhD in Theatre at the CUNY Grad Center and get a good score on the GRE you can get a free ride.
I'm a fan of grad. school. It doesn't a gurantee a job for people in the arts, but it is a big networking opportunity. If you tap into the regional theatre affiliated schools for directing, you might have more luck than staying here trying to compete with Tony-award winners.
http://journalism.nyu.edu/prospectivestudents/coursesofstudy/litrep/
http://www.brooklyn.cuny.edu/courses/acad/program_info.jsp?major=386&div=G&dept_code=95&dept_id=103#386

[Nitpicker]

It's not just you. Check out this post by Paul Hodgins of The Arts Blog: "A career in theater is a fast track to poverty." (Jan. 17, 2008). http://artsblog.freedomblogging.com/2008/01/17/a-career-in-theater-is-a-fast-track-to-poverty/

"In November I had coffee in New York with Kate Whoriskey, one of the most well-regarded under-40 stage directors in the country. She was working with Elizabeth Franz on the New York debut of Julia Cho’s “The Piano Teacher” at the Vineyard Theatre. Despite her success, Whoriskey said she was worried about the future. “It’s not easy living from job to job,” she told me. “Often I have no idea where the next (directing assignment) will come from, or when it will come.” Whoriskey admitted she would love to find a resident full-time position, perhaps an artistic director job at a regional theater. “This gets old after a while,” she said of her itinerant and meager existence.

. . .“I love what I do,” said Whoriskey, now in her mid-30s. “But there comes a time when you want a more balanced life. And theater doesn’t provide that.” "

No wonder Mike Daisey is angry.

[One NYC Stagehand]

Being just a knuckledragger in this business for a while, my perspective is a bit different. I think that the liberal arts schools are shortchanging their students by preparing them for a career in a business where the jobs are contracting. Shut down every third theatre department and convert it to a new media center. We'll always the theatre but we will also have a lot fewer bitter adults making midlife career changes.
I have terrific respect for your skills as you're a wonderful, insightful writer. Do something that will take care of you and your family and be satistfying. Don't get out of the arts, just get out of the theatre.

[Jennifer Gordon Thomas]

This is one of the most painful realizations that an artist can have (theatre or otherwise). I got my undergrad degree in directing. I've never made a living from it. I've acted for years. I've never made a living from that. I'm almost 40, single and have no children. A few years ago, before I had my brainsurgery & my brother died, I had to reconcile the fact that I had given up things. Made choices...sometimes unconsciously. I could easily look back and say "I've given up so much & what do I have to show for it?". But that would completely devalue the path I've taken and the choices I've made. I spent the majority of my soul-crunching day job days saying "What the hell did I get a degree in directing for?!"
As you know, I started editing recently. Changed the way I make my living. And you know what? NOW I know why I got that degree & why I've acted all these years...everything I've worked for & studied for, every choice I've made, has led me to this.
And I get to do this wonderful work, make a living, & act & direct when I want to.
You make choices, and if they don't work for you, choose again.
No regrets.
I hate to sound cliche, but life IS what happens while you're busy making other plans.

[Scott Walters]

In my opinion, there are only two reasons to go to grad school (and the first one is the best): 1. you want to teach -- not as a backup, but as a commitment; 2. you want to work with a specific teacher. Going to a so-called "top grad school" in order to make contacts is a fool's game. Don't do it.

Also, beware misinformation: one of your commenters says that if you get a doctorate at the CUNY grad center, you will have a free ride. As an alum of that program, I say not so in the least. Most of the students there get some small amount of financial aid, but usually there is only one student who gets a major grant. I was that student for my class, but others received a smaller amount that was reduced each year as an incentive for you to get done and get out. There ARE programs that WILL give you a free ride and an assistantship, both MFA Directing Programs and doctoral programs. These are mostly state schools, and usually not the so-called prestige programs. Nevertheless, you will receive a terminal degree and the luxury of spending three years focusing on your skills.

The question I think you ought to be asking, though, is whether your dream of directing full-time includes the non-stop travel that such a career seems to demand, at least if you are participating in the regional theatre circuit. How often do you want to be away from your family for 4 - 6 weeks at a time? If you don't want to do that, is there enough paying work in NYC to pay keep you solvent?

Also (and you know what I'm going to say), consider the option of leaving NYC, moving to a community that is less heavily populated with artists, and try to start a company. At least you will then have control over your work, and also be able to stay with your family.

You have, indeed, reached a crossroads -- I admire your willingness to put it out there for everyone to see. Good luck, and if there is anything I can do, please don't hesitate to contact me.

[Kerry Reid]

I'm not sure if arts journalism and theater criticism is going to be much more stable than directing, given the approaching death knell for print media.

[bpjc]

This is going to seem paradoxical from someone who got the hell out of the NYC theater scene, moved away, and is artistically/psychically happier for it, but I wouldn’t move out of NYC just yet. Especially if you don’t want to; in that case you should probably only move if something amazing comes up somewhere else (like a full time directing/artistic director gig at a regional theater)

Don’t discount your writing. You’ve been doing this blog for awhile now, which takes an enormous amount of discipline. As a result of putting in all of that time and effort and passion into this blog, you’ve grown considerably as a writer, built an audience, and amassed a portfolio for future editors to see. I don’t think you should turn your back on that.

As you know, one of the great things about writing is that you can make your own schedule. You’ve already been able to get paid for your writing, which is a huge first step.

I would think about what you can do to become a “full-time” writer, who is also a “full-time” director. You can work out the creative/financial ebb and flow of the two as projects, opportunities, and money come your way.

[freeman]

You could just take a full time job for a while while you develop your resume and save money. Not to be too, I dunno, pedestrian, but lots of people just straight up have to work. If you have the ability to live off some small inheritance, and you and Anne share a good income stream, then you might be able to put more money from full time work away than most people. Even invest those savings carefully. If you keep your overhead low, that'll mean that when you are in a real position to step away from regular 9-5 work and make money as a director, you won't be stuck.

I did the full-time freelance writing thing for a while, and it pretty much has to be your full-time job in order for it to actually pay. You have to do a lot of creative accounting, find work actively at all times, and write all the time. It's fun, but you shouldn't consider it extra income. In my limited experience with it, doing that for a living is pretty much a round the clock exercise.

I don't know your actual financial situation, so I can't say. I just think full-time work in order to pay the bills and eventually directing as your entire income stream are not mutually exclusive. Rule number one is all things seems to be just keeping your overhead low and not being too proud about how you earn a living.

I write this from my full-time, 9-5, paid desk job.

[Moxie the Maven]

I'm a bit younger but have the same nagging voice in my head as I consider the future - should passion outweigh stability, should they peacefully co-exist (how?), or are they really mutually exclusive for everybody but a select chosen few who get to be super super successful? Or is being in New York the factor that makes it almost impossible to have both?

I also wonder about how the current economic climate will affect the masses who are currently choosing graduate school over trying to make a living in this economy. Not only is it tough to get accepted right now, but I wonder how difficult it will be to get that teaching job upon completing the degree. It's safe to assume competition will be stiffer than ever, right? So, is that plan even truly viable, or is it really just as risky (or almost as risky) as continuing to try to make money as a writer/director/actor/etc?

[RLewis]

As someone else writing from the day-gig desk job, almost 48 y.o. and has been in nyc for 28 years, single again, no kids... well... clearly I have no answer to this very, very important question.

I have been fortunate to spend 15 years with one great lady, and 7 years with another, so I understand that your partner is signing on to your vow of poverty and that will always be the rub.

Every year or two I reserve a couple of weeks of my life to beat myself up over this issue and the choices I've made. Then again, I have lived a very interesting life, so far.

We bitch a lot about how F'ed up the theater is, but that's all pissing in the wind compared to this issue. No one should be surprised that most of us leave the theater within 5 years. If you don't have to do this with your life, get out before it's too late.

[Adam Szymkowicz]

Thanks for bringing this up. I don't have a lot of insight except that being away from New York for a year was both a relief and at the same time made me feel out of the loop. It's nice to live somewhere that doesn't cost so much.

We're headed to the East coast but not to nyc yet. We're still figuring out what's next. And I'm still trying to figure out the TV and Film world, but I can't turn my back on theatre.