You Want To Know Why Theatre Sucks?

by 99 Seats

Everything you want to know is contained in this right here, every single thing that's wrong with our theatre, the state of playwriting and why puppies die and why chocolate is fattening. Everything that's wrong with everything is right here for you. Read it and weep.

Neil LaBute and Theresa Rebeck want to write a play for you. And on Tuesday, they’ll be doing just that -- writing a play, together, in real time in front of you on Culture Monster.

Both are busy, prolific playwrights: LaBute is the mind behind such plays as “Bash,” “The Mercy Seat” and “Fat Pig” and as well as such films as “In the Company of Men” and “Your Friends and Neighbors.” He currently is preparing his Tony-nominated play “reasons to be pretty” for a run at London's Almeida Theatre. Rebeck’s works include “Mauritius,” “Omnium Gatherum” and “The Understudy.” Her play “Poor Behavior” will have its premiere at the Mark Taper Forum on Sept. 18;  “Seminar,” starring Alan Rickman and Lily Rabe, opens on Broadway Nov. 20; and her new NBC series, “Smash,” will premiere this winter.

<snip>

Here are the choices. Take a look, then go to the poll below and vote for your favorite.

• Ann, the CEO of a large corporation, is interviewing Steve for a job, not realizing they had a one-night stand a few years ago. Will he let her know?
• Former childhood sweethearts Jenn and Joe, now married to others, reunite at their 20th high school reunion.
• Ted and Sue meet on the Internet but now they’re taking things to the next level -- meeting in person for a “real” date.
• Surprise! Recently divorced Sandy and Ken are seated together on a six-hour flight across the country.
• Robin and Rick fall in love, then discover they’re both the product of a sperm donor -- possibly the same one
• Kristin enrolls in a figure studies class, then realizes that she knows the nude model, Ron, from church.

Sigh. So. These are the best, most interesting, most drama-filled scenarios they could think of. This stuff. You know, I get it; Rebeck and LaBute didn't come up with these themselves. But...tell me that these six scenarios aren't the plot lines you could expect to see at our institutional theatres next year? Something that would be hailed as insightful and piercing and telling the true story of our times?

You want to understand where we are, just look at that.

I blame Josh Conkel for bringing this into my life today, but at least he's done us the service of fixing the internets.

Comments

[kelly]

You make it sound like those are the choices THEY came up with, as in, blame THEM. I don't like that. Both have contributed piercing words on the state of women today, and I doubt they would have actually contributed these ideas. Please blame the organizers, or reality tv, or society, or someone other than these two awesome idea generators.

[99]

I'm sorry you don't like that. Especially since I note, specifically, that Rebeck and/or LaBute didn't come up with these scenarios.

But do these story ideas sound so far-fetched for these writers? Or for our stages? The point I'm trying to make and the thing that's frustrating about this is that this is what smart people think plays are about. That's not good.

[josh]

I'm fairly certain Labute and Rebeck can take the heat, anyway. Don't cry for them too much.

[neil labute]

don't shed a single tear for me (i can't speak for theresa) since i had a wonderful time doing this and apparently so did most of the readership who 'attended' it (feel free to check out their comments on the l.a. times website).

people love to complain. that's why god (or steve jobs) created blogs.

[Scott Walters]

Typical Labute arrogance. Pathetic. You're totally right, 99, this is one of the things wrong with theatre.