Parabasis

I Believe That's Called A Nadir

by 99 Seats

Very Small Array has made a handy-dandy chart of the Rotten Tomatoes ratings of the top-grossing films from 1950 to today, showing a couple of things:

- Um. Movies suck more now, apparently. Like a lot. There's been a clear and steady decline in the overall quality of the top movies since 1950. Interesting.

- Also: 1995? What the hell happened there? Oh, wait. That's what happened there. Jesus. What an awful year. What a terrible, terrible year.

Why Our Press Sucks, Part Eleventy-Billion-and-Three

by 99 Seats

Dear Rachel Rose Hartman of Yahoo News,

Okay, I know that the bleets, tweets and facebook blurts of everybody's least-favorite half-term governor and media personality are technically considered "news" or whatnot, so I suppose you were told to cover this latest whine about how she was caught saying or doing something dumb and how it's just plain gosh-darn rude of them liberal media types to note when she says or does something wrong. But, for God's sake, Rachel, please, please, please don't turn this into a "he-said, she-said, who knows that the truth is" kind of thing. Because there's video. Honest-to-God video that you posted in your story. Did you watch the video? Did you see her roll her eyes? I did. Everybody did. Go ahead. Watch it again. It's right there, embedded in the story you wrote.

It would be a lot more helpful if you did, reported that you did and that you think Sarah Palin is lying. Or if you watched the video, decided that she's lying and then just didn't bother to tell us that she said anything at all. Just let the video stand on its own. But no, you don't. You tell us that she says that she didn't roll her eyes, then throw up your hands and say, "Who knows what really happened? Maybe this video will shed some light on it. You tell me! Oh, and by the way, this other woman? Some people are 'suggesting' she's not really a teacher." And you're not going to check to see if that's bullcrap, either. (And for the record: yes, a crazy, wacky "theater tech" could actually be a teacher. It is possible to teach people about theatre. I'm just saying.)

Rachel, I'm sure you're a good, smart person and a good journalist and all. But you're not really doing your job here. Please do it. Please? The country kind of needs it.

Sincerely,

99 Seats

The List Goes On

Simon Gärdenfors is an asshole. That is not to say I don’t envy him. He has recognized and embraced (like Toby Young and Tucker Max) the fact that being an asshole extravagantly, publicly, and in a confessional mode can get you laid, make you money, and most importantly create around you that aura of low-level notoriety increasingly necessary to survival in the current age. The 120 Days of Simon—Gärdenfors’ third long-form comic, but the first to be published in English translation (by Top Shelf, who Isaac persuaded to send me a review copy)—stands as both record of Gärdenfors’ life as a minor celebrity and fulltime mooch, and as a principle mechanism by which he can continue to be so. The central conceit—let’s say stunt—of the book is that Gärdenfors, already somewhat known in Sweden for his cartooning and rapping for the group Las Palmas, advertised on his website for volunteers to house and feed him for a night or two. He then travelled around Sweden for 120 days without staying in the same place twice, or the same place for longer than two nights, or going home, with the avowed intention of turning the experience into a comic.

(More assholes after the jump.)

Third Wave Balk

Like Isaac, I saw Toy Story 3 this weekend, and loved it, particularly the fairly bleak final third. But what struck me the most was the heartwarming Barbie commercial that preceded it, at least at our theater. The ad itself is unavailable online, so I've posted above one of the ones aimed at kids that follows the same logic. For a closer measure of the ads' inspirational-nonprofit tone, though, check out the whole "I Can Be..." campaign at the Barbie website.

No Double Standards!

by Mark from Mr. Excitement News

When Charles Isherwood penned the following criticism of August: Osage County, the blogosphere went crazy:

Mr. Letts is as yet more a skillful entertainer than a true visionary or a dramatic poet. “August: Osage County” is a ripsnorter full of blistering, funny dialogue, acid-etched characterizations and scenes of no-holds-barred emotional combat, but I would not say it possesses the penetrating truth or the revelatory originality of a fully achieved work of art.

Now, can you believe it, Martin Denton has come out and said the same thing!

It's extremely well-crafted, very involving and, in its singular way, a great deal of fun. Is it grand theatre? Absolutely. Is it great drama? Definitely not.
[--]
No, come to this expecting to find the author of gratuitously provoking works like Killer Joe and Bug at the top of his form, or, perhaps more accurately, in expansive form: this is a great big exciting breathless jaw-dropping adventure of a show, but—let's be honest—an entirely superficial one.

I assume that everyone who vigorously condemned Isherwood will no doubt rush to throw down against Denton. I mean, it's not like you guys would just take any opportunity to fire off anti-Isherwood posts! These sentiments must not be allowed to stand!

[Crossposted to Mr. Excitement News]