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June 25, 2009


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Zack Calhoon

Don't forget Ensign.

David Cote

Is it possible the GOP attracts a certain type of internally conflicted, morally confused type of individual, who draws comfort from the illusion of "values based" conservative ideology? Not saying the Dems don't have their share of hypocrites and crooks, but just askin'...

Guy Yedwab

List of possible terrible fates to take out Conservative hopes:

1) Ron Paul is forced to reveal $3,000,000 in personal credit card debt, revealing that his fiscal conservatism STOPS AT THE HOME.

2) Mike Huckabee puts the weight back on.

3) Charlie Crist tries to convince people his name is Charlie Christ and that he's here to save us all. At first this boosts his career.

4) Newt Gingrich is about to run in 2012, until someone reminds people why he's not in politics anymore.

5) Tim Pawntley comes out of the closet: he's really Canadian.

6) Mitt Romney turns out to secretly be the biggest Star Trek fan in America. He goes by the secret name "Mitt Romulan" while at conventions. Conservatives hate nerds.

7) Eric Cantor turns out to be Jewish. Actually, he really is Jewish. The only Jewish Republican in the US Congress now that Norm Coleman's gone. Wow, they only have one Jew?

8) John Thune will have a pretty good shot, until Dick Cheney "accidentally" shoots him in the face. He will be missed.

Jason Grote

Man, I thought this was going to be about TIM Sanford, the artistic director of Playwrights' Horizons.


I wonder how many of these politicians that keep, forgive the phrase, getting caught with their pants down feel as though they have to say these "family values" statements to win voters? I'm pretty sure South Carolina is in the "bible belt" and Sanford probably figured, strategically, that saying "I believe in the sanctity of marriage" would win a lot of votes. Unfortunately, the bible also says that lying is a sin.

In Iowa there's a guy who's expected to be the Republican candidate for governor that has told Iowans that if he's elected he intends to issue an amendment to the constitution of Iowa reversing the Supreme Court's decision to legalize same-sex marriage. Well, you can't do that as governor in Iowa, but I bet he thinks that a lot of voters will think "Yeah, that's right!" Although now when I hear a Republican politician making outrageous remarks about gay marriage I now wonder, "So, when do we find out where this person's mistress/lover is?"

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